When It’s Not Your Fault

One of the things my anxiety loves to do to me is try and convince me that everything is my fault.

Of course, this only applies to the bad things. When good things happen, anxiety brain likes to remind me that I just got lucky or that this stroke of good fortune can’t possibly last. Good things are a fluke, and bad things are completely and utterly my fault—and if it’s my fault, it must also be my responsibility to fix them or be punished for failing to fix them. Anxiety brain can really get out of hand with what qualifies as “bad” and “my fault.” I’ve had to pull a slew of coping mechanisms out of my tool box to deal with anxiety brain trying to punish me for the actions of the American government barely three days into 2020.

We see those tendencies crop up for Alexis in Chapter 13 of Author x Audience as well, especially in relation to her relationship with her mother and being home again. 

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I Love You

April was a busy month!

Very recently I had the opportunity to share Author X Audience with someone in the animation industry. This person was very kind, and I was excited to get to have a conversation with them about art since they are also a bisexual woman. One thing that became quickly apparent in my conversation with her was that Author X Audience isn’t quite up to snuff on its realism when it comes to the industry. In particular, when Terry reads through the Serenity Peaks episode script that Alexis spoiled herself on. I believe my correspondent’s exact words were “I would be so fired if I leaked a script to a fan…”

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The Big Picture

To understand why I started writing Author X Audience, first you have to understand a few things about me. First, there are two things I always return to when under stress: books, and a night owlish sleep schedule. Second: when the world feels unfamiliar to me, I start looking for stories that I can relate to.

Studying abroad in Japan, I was under a lot of stress and I couldn’t find any stories that I could relate to.

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