Self-care

Well, March certainly didn’t go the way I expected it to. 2020 really started with a “maybe we’ll have WWIII, as a treat” and has kept on kicking right up to “maybe we’ll have a global pandemic while we’re at all the other mayhem too.” My anxiety’s at an all time high. How about yours? Also high? Take a breath in, and a breath out. Practice those coping mechanisms. Here’s a bunch of free yoga and a bunch of other fitness apps that are completely free until May 1st to help you keep your body and your mind healthy.

I’m going to get to talking about the chapter, but first I just want to take a moment to tell all of you that it’s going to be okay, and we’ll get through this, and what we build on the other side of all this will be worth surviving all this now to witness. I also hope you’re being gentle with yourselves. Existing is enough. Persisting is enough. You don’t have to do anything with this time except care for yourself and stay home to help slow the spread. I know it’s hard—I myself am a giant extrovert and going stir crazy at home—but it’s what we need to do to protect each other.

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Novembers Old & New

November is a pretty big time of year for me, and for Alexis.

Like her, I always went to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving to celebrate with my mother’s side of the family. Any turkey less than 18 pounds was “just a big chicken” by my Papu’s ruling, and my sisters and I would peel potatoes with our Nana and set all the tables while my four male cousins cleaned up after. Everyone was involved in Thanksgiving, and it was great. We spent the whole week lounging around, enjoying each other’s company. It was a warm and happy space.

Then, when I got to college, I stopped wanting to go. It was great to see them, but now people were doing things like asking me what I was going to do with a fine arts degree and guilt tripping me into coming because, what with my Nana and Papu’s advancing ages and their brushes with cancer, “we didn’t know how many Thanksgivings we had left.”

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Trauma Informed

This chapter of Author X Audience is about trauma.

Trauma is difficult to nail down. It’s difficult to know what it looks like, what will trigger it, and even who is suffering from it. The thing about abuse is that one often doesn’t know that they’re being abused when it’s happening. Women don’t stay with abusive husbands because they want to, they stay with difficult partners because they believe they’re the only ones who can help them. Similarly, I knew I didn’t like being hit by my father as a child, and I certainly felt it was wrong, but no one did anything to stop it, so I assumed it must be normal.

That abuse of my person left me traumatized, and it’s only within the last five years that I’ve really understood how much.

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